


Too Faced

by orion_andbeyond



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, i was high on energy drink when i wrote this, regret nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orion_andbeyond/pseuds/orion_andbeyond
Summary: Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are forced to be married. Their clan members do not buy this capitalism-ridden holy matrimony and decide to interfere.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the first ever round of takostation @ lj <3

Do Kyungsoo. Hmm, how do I even begin to explain Do Kyungsoo?

~~Do Kyungsoo is flawless~~

Do Kyungsoo is the definition of a jack of all trades. He’s the man who runs the business, the man who makes the music (he has a nice voice), the man who created goth, and also the man who invented cooking in glasses. His friends would agree that he’s such a creative mind, a genius in a petite body; only 25 years old too. Such talent not found in many men, but Kyungsoo.

His friends would also agree that Kyungsoo loves his mom so much. Like, hella much. His mom could leave him stranded in some abandoned island with zero percent of survival rate, but at the snap of a finger, he would return unscathed. That’s how obedient he is.

Thus, this happened.

What happened?

On the twelfth of June 2016, Kyungsoo willingly, and voluntarily, got himself wedded to the one and only Park Chanyeol. As in, the marrying thing. The _dear beloved, we are gathered here to witness bla bla_ thing. In a real church, even though Chanyeol is Buddhist.

And guess who should he thank for this? That’s right, Mama Do.

Now, the thing about Chanyeol and Kyungsoo is that by proxy, they are enemies. Because House Do and House Park have been battling their way to the top of the mafia chain for so long that the fight was honourably preserved in the form of three shelves of dead trees, mostly to remind the household why they’re even fighting in the first place. That’s how serious this whole rivalry thing is.

So it is definitely not acceptable that Kyungsoo had, gasps, no choice whatsoever but to concede with the decision of an arranged marriage to foster peace after centuries of bloodshed! Everyone in the clan is livid! Kyungsoo is an icon, a star in the household. He can gouge someone’s eyes out with a coin. He can make someone chew on bullets out of sheer fear. He can throw a dart straight through the bulls’ eye from 500 metres away. Do Kyungsoo is a man with a story to tell, or many. He’s an idol, an inspiration.

But, as I’ve said before, he also loves his mom a whole lot, so.

 

In the version passed down by the members of the clan, Kyungsoo was in distraught. He was frowning, with a certain sadness tinged in his legendary brows. He was seen covering his face in utter devastation, this news a blow to his pride. He would’ve never married the man, Park. He’s filth, dirt, scum. Breathing the same air as him was an insult. But Do Kyungah’s words are absolute.

“You must marry him, and under no conditions should you come back if you’ve tainted the clan’s name by not topping him on your first night together. Make him beg for it. Humiliate him. Or else, you will be disowned from ever being a part of this household,”

Kyungsoo was in shock, but he will never cry. He is strong and steady. He will never let Do Kyungah break him. So he walked up to her, bowed and agreed to it, without so much as a protest. That’s how much he was willing to sacrifice for a blood relative, for the clan.

His fate was sealed that night, and the entire clan, sans Do Kyungah, mourned for his perseverance. To them, Do Kyungsoo is a living martyr, spending life in the slums seen more desirable than mating with a Park.

 

 

Kyungsoo’s version is much, much different, however.

“Darling, are you really okay with this decision? I can cancel the arrangement if you want. All it would take is just one phone call,” Kyungah asks gently, eyes filled with worry as her only son covers his face. “No pressure whatsoever, okay?”

“I’m fine, mom. I’m okay. It’s for the best anyway,”

He leaves out the part where Chanyeol and him are somewhat in a relationship??? Already, but not really. He feels like he’s Chanyeol’s sometimes, and Chanyeol is his, but they’ve never really defined what they are, never really had closure on it. Kyungsoo frowns because this is like that cheesy song on the radio, and he never would’ve thought he can finally relate to one. It feels so strange.

He smiles behind his hands anyway, his elation can’t really be masked.

“Aww, honey,” Kyungah strides towards him, dragging Kyungsoo into a bone-crushing hug. Her son flails in her arms, having his airway cut off by the sheer monstrosity of her breasts.

“You know, I think that boy is a bottom,” Kyungah says once she’s settled back behind her desk and Kyungsoo is no longer gasping for air. “His buttocks are disappointingly flat though, but I trust your taste in men, sweetheart,”

Kyungsoo can’t even reply to that, because  _his mom checked Chanyeol’s ass out????_

 

 

They met at the most cliché place one could ever guess, a coffee shop. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were at the two opposites of the pole from the get go. Kyungsoo liked his coffee black and bitter, while Chanyeol added copious amounts of sugar and cream that successfully made Kyungsoo wince. Kyungsoo was silence and neat, calculated , while Chanyeol was loud and messy.

As the universe would have it, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were assigned to be partners in a class for their last semester before they graduate, and somehow, they made it work. No one expected them to develop feelings for each other in the process though, and by golly gosh, Kyungsoo didn’t even know who gave Chanyeol his number. Still, they kept in contact throughout the semester, and it escalated until current times.

They touch foreheads, they kiss – maybe make out when Kyungsoo is feeling brave enough – and they hold each other’s hands during their weekly horror movie ‘hangout’. Kyungsoo didn’t want to have high hopes. Chanyeol is a Park after all; their friendship alone is already taboo to everyone, let alone any type of romance. Kyungsoo just doesn’t read enough shoujo mangas to summon the courage and take the risk.

But of course, mother knows best. Do Kyungah and her eagle eyes, truly something. And Kyungsoo guesses that maybe, just maybe, Park Chanhyun saw through his son too. It’s really not difficult to see, though. Chanyeol wears his heart on his sleeve most of the time. He only has it covered in his foot when he’s about to blow up someone’s head. It’s endearing.

Kyungsoo didn’t consider marriage to be anything grand, but if Chanyeol is excited about it then maybe he should feel jubilant about it too. They smooch for a total of 3 seconds at the altar before someone at the back let out the loudest sob that echoed throughout the entire hall. After picking up that absurdly wrong version of his #tragic sacrifice, Kyungsoo is convinced that that loud sob is not because they’re happy two souls are now tied in holy matrimony, and Kyungsoo is okay with that. He didn’t give a fuck before, why would he now?

 

 

“Hyung, this is a mistake, you should have protested!!”

Or maybe he should give a fuck, because this is getting ridiculous. “Jongin, uncuff me.”

“Not until you listen to reason! Divorce him right now!”

Jongin’s voice is so squeaky for someone who is seven years way past puberty. It doesn’t help that he’s stomping his feet childishly in front of Kyungsoo. Mind you that Kyungsoo is blindfolded, so he can’t really see. But he’s close with Jongin and other household members that he can actually see it, like how you can hear McDonald’s Ppara ppappappa~ I’m lovin it! without listening to it.

“Hyuuuuung! I care for your future! Why won’t you listen to me??” Jongin whines loud enough to come off screechy, and it’s starting to hurt Kyungsoo’s ears. “You’re torturing yourself just to please Mistress Kyungah and that’s not right!”

“Oh my lord…” Kyungsoo is at a loss for words. “The only torture I’m putting myself into is getting cuffed in the basement of our Seoul HQ by your inexperienced hands and forcing myself to listen to your fairy tales. Who is telling you these stories anyway?”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jongin sniffles, probably offended. “Considering how I can kidnap you in broad daylight, I think I have enough experience as a member already,”

Abruptly, Kyungsoo stands up and the cuffs around his wrists drop to the ground in a heavy clank. It took Kyungsoo like, seven seconds? His previous record was nine when Chanyeol was being too slow on their wedding night. “You sure talk big for someone who can’t even tranquilize me properly,”

The blindfold is off, and Kyungsoo is seeing the mouth of a teeny, tiny gun aimed right onto his forehead. “I’ve come prepared!” Jongin yells, even when he’s shaking. That’s kind of cute.

He falls into an unconscious heap on the floor after a blow on his tummy later, and that’s even cuter.

“Sleep well, Jongina,” Kyungsoo pats the man’s hair lightly before escaping the place, absently wondering if he left the stove on when Jongin sneaked into his house before. That’s not good. Kyungsoo already transferred all his black clothing to that particular house. Call it an incentive to commit to the marriage after Chanyeol confesses that he likes Rilakkuma and can only sleep when he’s cuddled to one.

Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo hurries home, absently wondering if his husband is already waiting for him. It is past the time he should be back from his clan meeting, something that Kyungsoo was told not to worry. Hopefully, the spinaches Kyungsoo had boiled don’t burn.

 

 

They were burnt pretty severely, unfortunately. Kyungsoo purses his lips as he throws the limp vegetables into the trash can. He really wanted to cook Chanyeol his favourite, but all of it is going to waste. “I blame Sehun for this,”

“I’m pretty sure the stove was already on when he got here.” Chanyeol offers, while simultaneously defending the member of his clan. Sehun never lies to him. It was completely accidental that he dropped by to this neighbourhood and considered visiting Chanyeol, and as luck would have it, he – definitely not on purpose – slipped some sleeping pills into Chanyeol’s tea. But it’s okay, really. Sehun does weird shit all the time.

“You’re kidding me right,” Kyungsoo deadpans, trying to search his husband’s face and maybe, just maybe, sees a sign of him bullshitting, because the ridiculous nonsense he spews sometimes is actually a real train of thought inside his head. That’s worrying.

Chanyeol stares into Kyungsoo’s eyes and admits defeat, sitting on the stool near the wine bar and pouting into his iced water. “Will you ever let my crew live?”

“No.”

“Figures,”

“I’ll call for pizza,” Kyungsoo ends up saying to lighten up the mood. Chanyeol is looking worse for wear and it’s obvious that the pills had a very strong effect on him. He’s barely sitting straight as it is, already burying his head into his arms as a make-shift pillow. Darn that Sehun kid, that’s a really dirty tactic. At least Jongin used the element of surprise. Sehun used Chanyeol’s angel manners and turned that against him. Unbelievable and unforgivable.

“Don’t come for Sehun, he’s just a kid…” Kyungsoo hears his husband mumbling, almost falling into a deep sleep, but not yet.

“I won’t if you eat dinner with me tonight,”

“Deal,”

 

 

The thing is, this has been going on for days now. Random members of their respective clans would do some ridiculous ambush attack to separate them from each other, which is stupid in the first place because Kyungsoo and Chanyeol aren’t the crown heirs of the clan without substance. They’re good at what they do, and when these small fries think they’re ‘saving’ them, it’s… not really a good feeling.

Still, their night is about to begin and so far it’s looking good. Chanyeol had booked them a week at Jeju Island for their honeymoon next week and Kyungsoo is pretty excited to try the spa. His back is in dire need of a good massage. He hopes Chanyeol shares the same thing in mind too.

The pizza delivery kid is nice, so Kyungsoo gave him a big fat tip and told him to scram. He has high hopes that tonight will be the night these plebeians would leave them alone. Kyungsoo hadn’t had much fun times with his husband since their wedding night, which was last week. “Chanyeol, the pizza is here. I ordered your favourite,”

Chanyeol pops out of the loo with a bright grin, probably already done dealing with his sleepiness. He’s been gulping at least 5 glasses of water trying to flush the pill out of his system, and he’s showing signs of being more alert now, which is a relief. Kyungsoo can’t imagine not cuddling with Chanyeol tonight in their bed. He’ll probably go on a rampage in the Park HQ. “Pepperonis?”

“One and only,” He replies with a matching grin of his own.

Kyungsoo thinks Chanyeol’s smile is probably the most beautiful sight he has ever laid his eyes on the first time he met him, and he still thinks so almost four years later. It’s a constant in Kyungsoo’s life that he probably can’t live without by now.

They set the pizza on the dining table, occupying opposite seats as they talk about everything and nothing. Kyungsoo and his clan planning to take over the northern gang, Chanyeol playing with his Rilakkumas in his dad’s office; Kyungsoo taking out another target today, Chanyeol stubbing his toe in the bathroom that morning, normal banter.

The foot going up Kyungsoo’s leg halts his speech about how Chanyeol needs to stop wearing the same hoodie for 3 consecutive days, but he swiftly continues because this is Chanyeol and it’s in his nature to be playful. Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol’s big foot roam all over his slacks clad legs, inhaling a bit too quick when the toe reaches the inside of his thigh. Chanyeol has a big ol’ smirk on his face as Kyungsoo wheezes at the heel on his dick when the soft clicking sound starts.

For the sake of getting some action, Kyungsoo ignores the sound completely and spreads his legs a bit, allowing more room for Chanyeol. But his husband has faster reflex than he is – who would’ve thought – and jumps at him.

The pizza splatters all over the kitchen, courtesy of a small bomb detonating on top of it. Kyungsoo should’ve known that there is no such thing as a nice pizza delivery guy. Chanyeol is draped over him, almost like shielding him, and Kyungsoo’s heart swells.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks him hurriedly, lifting his limp arms and checking him for any wounds. It’s so stupid because Kyungsoo isn’t the one who just throws himself in front of a hand grenade for his husband.

“Chany-“

“Couldn’t have brought a bigger bomb, eh?”

“You sick little sweaselferret, our plan isn’t to harm, it’s to capture!”

Kyungsoo knows that voice, of course he would. Only Junmyeon can spew weird ass insults no one uses in the 21st century. He can’t recognize the other personnel though, maybe it’s a new recruit of the clan?

“Minseok hyung?” Chanyeol rhetorically asks, already clutching a rifle in his hands. “What are you doing here?”

Ah, so he’s a Park. Wow, this marriage must have everyone shook. To think they actually worked together to ambush them…

“I have come here to set you free.” They say at the same time, and quickly exchange glances like it’s a scene from Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper. “For the sake of our clan,”

“Jesus Christ, when will this end…” Chanyeol groans loudly. He pulls Kyungsoo to stand up with him before hugging the little man with all of his limbs. His cheeks are smushed into Kyungsoo’s and he pouts menacingly. “Look. I’ve told you. I love him, and he loves me. We are married because we want to. What will it take for you to understand?”

Kyungsoo, to this day, denies the furious blush creeping on his face.

“Lord Park’s brainwashing regime is said to be one of his most deadliest weapon yet, and we suspect he has-“

“Oh my god, he’s my dad. As low as he can be, he won’t do that to me. He let me play EXORUN on his tablet because I was bored during the meeting, for god’s sake.” Chanyeol pats Kyungsoo’s bum like he’s dusting off furniture. “I can’t be assed to be nice today because this is breaking and entering, so I hope you two can do me a favour and find your way out. We are perfectly fine on our own,”

Minseok and Junmyeon look at each other. It only takes a shift in their hands; reaching for their hidden weapons for Kyungsoo to give them the Blow of Comatose, effectively sending them to the floor. He’s kinda pissed off? Right now? And it’s totally not very nice to interrupt a married couple about to taint this entire house with the holy ritual of mating.

“What do we do with their bodies?” Chanyeol frowns and it’s so adorable.

“Throw them out at the roadside, I don’t know. Just don’t let them be anywhere near this household,”

“Roger that,”

 

 

“Hey Kyungsoo,”

Kyungsoo looks up from where he is crossing his legs on the couch, reading some manuals that look boring and uninteresting to Chanyeol. It’s full of words and words and words and more words. Chanyeol hates those things. He’s more of a just-do-it! kind of guy. “Hm?”

“I’m lonely.”

_Cuddle with me?_

Chanyeol doesn’t need to ask, because Kyungsoo already knows. And what can Kyungsoo do when Chanyeol is pulling out that Look, where he frowns and looks really sad with his pout in full bloom. Kyungsoo is too weak for Chanyeol’s kicked-puppy manipulation.

But it’s a good kind of manipulation, he thinks.

Slowly, Kyungsoo places his documents on the night stand, directing his gaze on Chanyeol and his gangly limbs on the bed. His husband is probably trying to look like a picturesque incubus about to suck him dry or something like that, but he really comes off looking cute and big. Kyungsoo likes Chanyeol all big and cuddly, makes him want to wrap himself around him and give him a big smooch on his pretty lips.

Ugh, cheese.

Kyungsoo climbs into bed with the grace of a swan, smiling as his husband turns around with a ‘Hmph!’. Or can be interpreted as ‘Be the big spoon since you took so long to notice me!’. Chanyeol is so endearing.

Slithering his arms across his husband’s firm waist, Kyungsoo litters pecks onto the back of Chanyeol’s neck, his wifebeater the perfect choice to sleep in. Kyungsoo knows that he’s been showing off muscles lately, but it’s all in good fun. Chanyeol had worked hard for it too, so he doesn’t think he deserves to rain on his parade. It does raise his hackles sometimes when Chanyeol would flex in front of the ladies when they go out, but then again, Chanyeol’s gay, so.

Kyungsoo feels the way Chanyeol shivers in his arms as his warm breath heats the tender skin, pushing him to hug his husband tighter. It’s comfortable, it’s familiar.

“Ugh, married senior citizens.”

“Tell me about it.”

Blankets fly, pillows shoot everywhere as both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo reach for their hidden weapons and aim directly at the voices, casually hanging upside down from the ceiling.

Baekhyun’s irritatingly blond hair defies gravity.

“Not you too,” Kyungsoo sighs, already holding out a hand to lower Chanyeol’s rifle. “And I can bet the guy next to you is from the Park house.”

“He’s a guy I’m close with-“ Chanyeol begins, but gets interrupted for a flashy entrance.

They do a super hero landing and display some strange movements ripped off straight from Ultraman. “To protect the world from devastation!” Baekhyun starts.

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo says.

“To unite all peoples within our nation!” The other guy continues, and the moves he’s showcasing is… interesting, to say the least.

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!” Baekhyun yells, complete with a split.

“To extend our reach to the stars above!”

Both of the idiots - in Kyungsoo’s mind - spin and flail, sliding right in front of Kyungsoo and present themselves in front of the married dudes. “Baekhyun!” Baekhyun announces.

“Jongdae!” Ah, so this is Jongdae. The guy who told Chanyeol to fuck off for kinkshaming him via Kakaotalk. Don’t ask Kyungsoo how he knows that.

“Team Do-“ “Team Park-“

Silence. Utter silence. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae are supporting similar looks of aggravation, and Kyungsoo carefully takes a step back as he pulls Chanyeol along with him.

“Um, excuse me? What the fuck was that? Team Park? Who’s in Team Park? Your ugly ass shoes?” Baekhyun stands up from where his tight pants are shredded at the knee. Kyungsoo is offended that he actually paid for that mess.

Jongdae looks livid. “Pardon? We are in this together. Together! So you should just listen to me and-“

Kyungsoo has had enough, so he lets out a shot, startling the bantering duo from their pigtail-pulling. Not really a challenge to make them direct their attention to him. “I know for a fact that you two are fucking on the side, so if you don’t want this tip going to the wrong ear, you better leave this premise. Both of you. Before I lose my patience, like it’s not wearing thin already.”

Even Chanyeol is creeped out with that tone of voice, the one that means Kyungsoo is ready for blood on the floor, friends or not. Kyungsoo’s usually very patient, his temper aside. The last time he heard that tone was when he was on his back, the mouth of gun aimed on his chest by a gang leader who was history. Kyungsoo made him be history.

It seems that it chilled Baekhyun too, which results in him emitting a squeak before dragging Jongdae with him to the window. “I was just doing this because everyone is doing it!” He screams, making excuses, but Kyungsoo doesn’t really care for reason when he’s being tested.

“Babe?” Chanyeol hesitates, laying a touch on Kyungsoo’s shoulder softly, and almost flinches when Kyungsoo lets out a weary exhale.

Everything is wrong today. And night. First, his cooking has gone to shit, no thanks to these idiots. Next, his dinner is trashed, also no thanks to these fucking idiots. Now, he has his cuddle time disturbed by, guess who? These idiots.

Kyungsoo has the fight sucked out of him by the time he recollects himself, and he very sadly shuffles back into bed and defiantly ignores Chanyeol’s calls for him.

“Let’s just sleep… I’m tired,” He replies softly.

 

The morning after, Kyungsoo wakes up to the wafting smell of Omurice. The bed is cold at Chanyeol’s side, making Kyungsoo frown. It doesn’t seem like Chanyeol has been sleeping at all that night, because he certainly won’t if it’s not with Kyungsoo in his arms.

Did Kyungsoo scared him off?

It’s not even him that Kyungsoo is mad at.

His annoying phone is vibrating on the night stand, and Kyungsoo can guess that that is actually the main reason why he woke up in the first place. Chanyeol can be quiet when he really wants to.

The sound of footsteps walking into their room didn’t steal Kyungsoo’s attention from the 76 missed calls and fuckton of messages left by the members of his clan. Yixing hyung’s messages in particular sound very worrying. They’re a variation of keypad smashes and HELP!!, and this really shocks Kyungsoo because this man is only second to him in terms of skills.

One message reads: Chanyeol is here!!

Kyungsoo’s brows reach the ozone layer.

“Whatchu reading so early in the morning, Soo?” Chanyeol asks.

And there he is, his husband, caked in dried blood all over his shirt and face. There are even some near his lips, and Kyungsoo doubts that it’s a wound. His hair is perfect, but the fire is still burning in his eyes. Chanyeol places the tray onto the night stand and sits gingerly next to Kyungsoo, smiling cynically to him. “I cooked you breakfast!”

Kyungsoo is gaping. It’s unattractive, but he never thought Chanyeol could do it. He has seen the hints of his temper, but he never really- he didn’t think-

“Oh, and I took care of both of our clans! They won’t bother us anymore,” Chanyeol says, soft and bone-chilling at the same time. “It’s just a warning, but they definitely won’t bother us anymore!”

Kyungsoo pulls the battery out of his phone as soon as Chanyeol steps into the bathroom for his shower. Looks like Chanyeol has made his reservations for Kyungsoo’s attention for the day.


End file.
